Index to Stories in the Book

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index to Personal Safety Nets: Getting Ready for Life's Inevitable Changes and Challenges

We've included stories by people who have dealt with changes and challenges which may be helpful to readers.

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abandonment, fear of, 106-07, 124, 158-59
accepting reality, 57-58
accidents, coping with, 13-14, 45-46, 63, 96-97, 140-41
adult family homes. See assisted living facilities; nursing homes
aging. See elderly
alienating help. See support, alienating/sabotaging; asking for help, avoiding
Alzheimer’s, 11-12, 27-29, 129, 171-72, 174-75. See also elderly; memory loss
anger/resentment. See emotions
anxieties, coping with, 57-58, 115-16, 181-82
appreciation/gratitude/thanks, expressing, 5-6, 9-10, 13-14, 43-44, 54, 73, 94, 174-75, 177-78, 178-79
arthritis, 6-8
asking for help
     for aging parents, 27-29, 71, 176, 185
     avoiding, 59, 96, 124, 134, 135-36, 137-38
     for clients or colleagues, 11-12, 45, 96-97
     for/from friends, 7-8, 9-10, 13-14, 45, 70, 86, 88
     for self, 6-8, 9-10, 15, 27-29, 30-31, 42, 43-44, 45-46, 46-47, 55,
          56-57, 57-58, 63-64, 81, 82-83, 84, 91-92, 96-97, 137-38, 144-45, 164-65, 174-75
     for injured soldier, 73
     for spouse, 27-29, 35-37, 46-47, 81, 91-92, 94, 122-23, 134
     with spouse, 6-8, 35-37, 47-48, 54, 81, 94
          See also communication; meetings
assisted living facilities, 82, 118-19, 140-42, 171-72, 179-80. See also hospitals; nursing homes
biorhythms, 84
bitterness. See emotions
blessings/faith/grace/prayers, 18-19, 23-24, 53, 54, 59, 60-62, 63, 94, 112-13, 144-45,
     164-65, 174-75, 178, 181-82
boundaries. See setting limits
brainstorming, See decision making/brainstorming
burnout and exhaustion/feeling overwhelmed, 13-14, 27-29, 35-37, 81, 122-23, 129,
     134, 135-36, 137-38, 144-45, 185
business advice and skills, 5-6, 88, 147-48. See also finances
cancer, 18-19, 38, 42, 45, 46-47, 51, 53, 54, 57-58, 63-64, 91-92, 134, 144-45, 147-48, 164-65
care coordination. See care plans; planning
careers, effects upon, 4-5, 9-10, 11-12, 171-72
caregivers/case managers. See professional help
care plans, 4-5, 6-8, 11-12, 27-29, 30-31, 35-37, 70, 71, 73, 94, 96-97, 134-35, 171-72.
     See also planning; support
care-share teams/care-sharing teams/care teams/personal support teams/sharing the care.
     See support, care-share teams
carpooling, 6-8
case managers. See professional help
cell phone or e-mail lists. See communication
choice. See power of choice
chores, sharing, 27-29, 35-37, 94
churches. See support, church congregations/faith communities
colleagues. See human resources personnel, as initiators; support, colleagues and co-workers
coming full circle/giving back, 177-78
communication
     cell phone or e-mail lists, 27-28, 35-37, 54, 94
     e-mails, 6-8, 35-37, 45, 54, 56-57, 59, 60-63, 94
     in person, 4, 9-10, 12, 43-44, 81, 94
     letters, 45-46, 47-48, 55-56
     phone calls, 30-31, 35-37, 38, 42, 53, 54, 59, 63, 173
     selective, 15, 38, 88, 106-07
     Web sites, 60-62
communities. See support, communities
compassion. See emotions, love and compassion.
congestive heart failure, 137-38
congregational support. See support, church congregations/faith communities
control, exercising one’s, 15, 144-45, 158-59, 168-69. See also power of choice
counselor-consultants/therapists. See professional help
courage, 30-31, 43-44, 57-58, 140-42, 177-78
creative outlets/expressions, 118-19, 147-48
creative solutions, 81
crises, 81, 129, 135-36, 147-48, 168-69
cultural diversity, 106-07, 115-16, 164-65, 179-80
cystic fibrosis, 86
death, facing, 23-24, 106-07, 164-65, 173, 181-82, 183, 185. See also rituals
decision making/brainstorming, 5-6, 6-8, 9-10, 11-12, 15, 27-29, 30-31, 35-37,
     55-56, 70, 81, 82-83, 88, 102-03, 147-48, 158-59
dementia. See Alzheimer’s; elderly, fragility and dementia
denial. See emotions
depression. See emotions
disabilities, 135-36, 137-38, 164, 171-72
diseases, 15, 38, 60-62, 70, 88, 93, 102-03, 135-36, 140-42, 168-69. See also specific illnesses
divorces, 9-10, 56-57, 135-36
Down’s syndrome, 179-80
dying. See death, facing
dysfunction, family, 71
elderly
     couples, 27-29, 80, 122-23, 137-38, 178-79
     fragility and dementia, 27-29, 71, 96-97, 158-59, 171-72, 178-79, 181-82, 185
     individuals, 27-28, 30-31, 43-44, 96-97, 155, 158-59
     parents/grandparents, 4-5, 9-10, 18-19, 23-24, 27-29, 71, 80, 84
e-mails. See communication
embarrassment. See emotions
emotions
     anger/resentment, 59, 127-28, 135-36, 155-56, 164-65, 176, 185
     bitterness, 155-56
     denial, 106-07, 135-36
     depression, 46-47, 137-38
     embarrassment, 127-28
     fear, 6-8, 106-07, 124, 127-28, 129, 144-45, 150-51, 158-59
     frustration, 135-36
     grief and sadness, 30-31, 63, 137-38, 178-79, 181-82, 183, 185
     jealousy, 150-51, 168-69
     love and compassion, 18-19, 81, 127-28, 135, 164-65, 178-79, 181-82
     powerlessness, 127-28
     shame, 6-8, 127-28, 135-36
     tenderness, 127-28
encouragement, 18, 27-29, 86, 94
exhaustion. See burnout and exhaustion/feeling overwhelmed
faith, role of, 4-5, 23-24, 47-48, 53, 60-63, 112-13, 174-75, 177-78, 179-80, 181-82, 183
families. See support, families; dysfunction, family
fear. See emotions
feeling overwhelmed. See burnout and exhaustion/feeling overwhelmed
finances, 5-6, 43-44, 73, 88, 147-48. See also business advice and skills
foster care, 150-51
friends. See support, friends
frustration. See emotions
genetic diseases. See diseases
grandchildren/grandparents, 4-5, 18-19, 27-29, 60-62, 80, 84. See also elderly, parents/grandparents
gratitude. See appreciation/gratitude/thanks, expressing
grief and sadness. See emotions
guilt. See saying no
healing, 9-10, 137-38, 140-42, 174-75
Health Care Power of Attorney, 106-07
Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996
(HIPPA), 106-07
heart attacks, 55-56, 94, 137-38
help appeals. See asking for help
HIV/AIDS, 177-78
home-health agencies. See professional help
honesty, lack of, 38, 51, 81, 106-07, 124, 135-36, 150-51, 164-65
hope. See power of hope
Hospice, 164-65, 181-82, 183
hospitals, 23-24, 30-31, 73, 86, 106-07, 124, 173
human resources personnel, as initiators, 11-12, 96-97, 171-72.
     See also asking for help, for clients or colleagues; support, colleagues and co-workers
humor, 84, 93, 181-82. See also laughter
illnesses/injuries
     child’s, 13-14, 86
     facing, 35-37, 106-07, 168-69, 171-72, 179-80
     long-term, 15, 70, 134, 135-36, 144-45, 173
     midlife, 11-12, 35-37, 38, 70, 73, 91-92, 93, 127-28, 135-36, 140-42,
          164-65, 168-69, 171-72, 177-78
     military, 73
     See also accidents, coping with; Alzheimer’s; arthritis; cancer; congestive heart failure; cystic fibrosis; diseases; Down’s syndrome; elderly, fragility and dementia; emotions, depression; heart attacks; memory loss; prostate cancer; strokes; transplants
independence, 71, 96-97
injuries. See illnesses/injuries
intergenerational support. See support, intergenerational
isolation/feeling trapped, 27-29, 96-97, 134, 135-36, 140-42, 164-65, 173, 176, 177-78.
     See also burnout and exhaustion/feeling overwhelmed
jealousy. See emotions
joy, 181-82, 183
laughter, 9-10, 183. See also humor
letters. See communication
life-coach counselors. See professional help, counselors/therapists
limits. See setting limits
long-term illnesses. See illnesses/injuries, long-term
love and compassion. See emotions
“medicalization”, 140-42
meetings
     addressing colleagues at, 5, 11-12, 63-64
     avoiding, 106-07
     bringing up issues at, 9-10, 27-29, 81
     having care partner present at, 102-03
     setting up initial, 43-44, 46-47, 55-56, 70
memory loss, 27-29, 71, 158-59, 171-72, 176
men
     asking for help, 6-8, 30-31, 42, 45, 55-56, 56-57, 63-64, 71
     facing illness or death, 6-8, 23-24, 51, 57-58, 63-64, 91-92, 96-97, 122-23,
          144-45, 155-56, 177-78, 178-79, 181-82, 185
     primary caretakers, 27-29, 35-37, 81, 135-36, 137-38, 185
     See also isolation/feeling trapped
midlife, facing illness in. See illnesses/injuries, midlife
military. See illnesses/injuries, military
moving, 82-83, 88, 118-19, 140-42, 158-59, 171-72, 181-82
neighbors. See support, communities
no, saying. See saying no
nursing homes, 43-44, 140-42, 171-72, 181-82
offering help, 4-5, 5-6, 9-10, 11-12, 13-14, 30-31, 38, 51-52, 53, 59, 60-62, 91-92, 94
overwhelmed. See burnout and exhaustion/feeling overwhelmed
paid caregivers. See professional help
parenting. See single parenting; support, intergenerational
passive-aggressive behavior, 135-36, 150-51
peace, finding, 118-19, 144-45, 164-65, 171, 173, 174, 181-82, 185
phone calls. See communication
planning
     in advance, 4, 9-10, 23-24, 30-31, 35-37, 43-44, 51, 56-57, 57-58,
          82-83, 86, 96-97, 144-45, 147-48, 158-59
     too late, 38, 71, 88, 106-07, 129, 135-36, 137-38, 176
     when there’s a need, 5, 6, 11-12, 13, 27-29, 42, 45, 45-46, 46-47,
          47-48, 55-56, 63-64, 70, 73,  91-92, 96-97, 122-23, 134, 144-45
powerlessness. See emotions
power of choice, 15, 38, 82-83, 140-42, 164-65, 181-82
power of hope, 137-38, 140-42, 147-48, 164-65, 185
prayer, 23-24, 47-48, 53, 60-63, 94, 115-16, 127-28, 144-45, 164-65, 174-75
pregnancy, 81
priorities. See values
privacy, 6-7, 30-31, 38, 88, 96-97, 106-07, 122-23
professional help
     accountants, 96-97
     caregivers/case managers, 15, 70, 71, 80, 135-36, 140-142, 156, 172, 176, 179-80, 181-82
     counselors/therapists, 11-12, 15, 27-28, 70, 71, 93, 96-97, 115-16, 134-35,
          140-42, 144-45,  147-48, 168-69, 171-72, 178-79
     home-health agencies, 15, 27-29, 47, 59, 70, 71, 73, 168-69, 176
     housekeepers, 36-37
     social workers, 15, 71
progressive diseases. See diseases
prostate cancer, 42, 91-92
receiving help. See asking for help; support
recovery, 35-37, 43-44, 47-48, 63, 73, 94, 122-23, 127-28, 140-42, 155-56
relief, 35-37, 135-36, 137-38, 168-69
resiliency, 18-19, 140-42, 144-45, 164-65, 168-69, 185
rituals, 9-10, 80, 118-19, 171-72, 179-80, 183
sabotage. See support, alienating/sabotaging
safety, 73, 82-83, 106-07, 171-72
saying good-bye, 118-19, 171-72, 178-79
saying no, 37, 51, 55-56, 63-64, 70, 73, 84, 115-16, 174-75
saying yes. See offering help
selective communication. See communication
self-care, 5, 9, 18-19, 43, 51, 82, 84, 112-13, 115-16, 118-19, 122-23,
     134, 144-45, 171-72, 174,  188-89
self-neglect, 129, 134, 137-38
setting limits, 38, 51, 84, 115-16, 174-75
shame. See emotions
single parenting, 4-5, 13-14, 150-51. See also support, care-share teams, communities,  intergenerational
solo caregiving, 129, 134, 135-36, 137-38. See also support, care-share teams, communities
spiritual partners, 174-75
strategizing. See care plans; decision making/brainstorming; planning
strokes, 30-31, 47-48, 122-23, 127-28, 129, 137-38, 155-56
support
     alienating/sabotaging, 38, 106-07, 150-51, 155-56, 158-59, 164-65, 176
     care-share teams, 15, 35-37, 70, 73, 81, 94, 106-07, 134, 155-56, 171-72, 177-78
     church congregations/faith communities, 4-5, 23-24, 47-48, 73, 86, 94, 174-75, 177-78
     colleagues and co-workers, 5-6, 9-10, 11-12, 15, 45, 55-56, 63-64, 70, 94, 171-72
     communities, 13-14, 15, 51, 70, 73, 81, 122-23, 135-36
     families, 18-19, 23-24, 27-29, 46-47, 55-56, 56-57, 71, 84, 127-28, 179-80
     friends, 6-8, 9-10, 13-14, 18-19, 27-29, 30-31, 35-37, 43-44, 59, 60-63,
          81, 86, 88, 91-92,  122-23, 174-75
     intergenerational, 14-15, 18-19, 27-29, 71, 73, 137-38, 185
     one source (See solo caregiving)
surgeries, 35-36, 43-44, 94
tenderness. See emotions
thanks, ways to show. See appreciation/gratitude/thanks, expressing
transplants, 38, 60-62, 86
trust, 23-24, 51, 91-92, 106-07, 134, 135-36, 144-45, 150-51, 177-78
values, 81, 82-83
vision, 38, 73, 140-42
vision statement, 18-19, 82-83
volunteer organizing community. See support, communities
vulnerability, 96-97, 127-28. See also emotions, fear
wearing down. See burnout and exhaustion/feeling overwhelmed
Web sites. See communication
withdrawing support, 164-65, 174-75, 176. See also saying no