I Need You & You Need Me

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Your life will change, maybe not today or tomorrow, but it will change.

You are a part of a life that is always changing, sometimes in unexpected or unwanted ways. This changing life makes you a student in life's university, and if you can move with it, rapid learning will follow. With learning and knowledge will come a sense of stability and control, which will, in turn, decrease anxiety and increase resourcefulness and resiliency.

With this in mind, ask yourself: Is the life change I am going through, or planning for, one where seeking out more resources or asking others for help could improve outcomes? Remember, planning for the worst-case scenarios also prepares you for a variety of less drastic situations. It is an approach that will help prepare you to take advantage of opportunities to make your life better despite the changes and challenges.

If you can see that planning or dealing with current or future challenges and changes will not be easily tackled alone, it's time to build a care team. If you see others are having trouble dealing with their challenges or changes, it may be time for you help create or become part of their care team. We reminded you that care teams can also function to help you focus on weight loss, increase exercise or workout stability, heighten spirits, make your life more happy, and help you deal with emotional distress.

The research is overwhelming. As we say in Chapter 2 of Personal Safety Nets: Getting Ready for Life's Inevitable Changes and Challenges, we work better together and we all need what other human beings have to offer.

  • All human beings have a basic need to be in relationship with significant others - it is life enhancing to share feelings, needs, hopes and fears
  • All human have a basic need to be recognized and valued - helping create and sustain a unique and valuable sense of self.
  • All human beings have a need to nurture and to be nurtured, to receive care and to give care - expressing concern, perceiving that concern is received, and accepting the care and love of another contribute to a deep sense of well-being.

So, let's assume that all of us will need help at some life stage - to tackle some change or challenge. Where to start? All of Chapter 2 in our book deals with thinking about needs and motivation. From our workbook, Get Ready/Get Started come "Identifying Safety Net Members" (pg. 14) and "Am I prepared?" (pg. 15) Try these exercise today - you'll be prepared for tomorrow. We're also providing you with "Being Helped: What I Might Want and/or Need." (Appendix 21) Take this list and change it, building and adding to make it specific for your life today - and then revisit it as your life changes and you face new challenges. You, and others, need to know what you need before you can ask for help and create a care team.

Let's start today - thinking it through. Be a problem solver even before you have problems. Imagine putting together a team to assist you or becoming a part of another's team. Don't run away from others, and don't shy away from asking.

We are not made for hoarding our time, talent, or treasure, rather, we are channels made for sharing.